Earlier this week, I had a friend staying.  As he is here on the same Visa, but using it very differently, it was interesting to chat about our different experiences.  Whilst I have  picked a place and settled with my vast amount of luggage, he is travelling around with a back pack.  Despite all the amazing things I have done, and people I have met, I couldnt help but feel a little jealous.  He has been to many places accross Canada and America.  I am definitely not jealous of the ridiculously small amount of luggage he has though.  I need the same for a weekend away!  I envy the different experiences and places, and not being tied to anywhere.  I think it is hard either way – I love that I have somewhere I can now call home, that I feel comfortable and settled, completely welcome and accepted.  I have thrown myself into the community and become a local.  On the other hand – there are so many places out there to visit and explore, so many new experiences and so much opportunity not to be tied down.  It had me asking myself if I have tied myself in too soon?  After all, how many chances in a lifetime do we get this opportunity?  

It has been time to have a review of why I came here, what I wanted and hoped to achieve and, actually, have my goals and expectations changed.  Part of my motivation for looking into something different to do with my life was not wanting to drift along for the next forty years with nothing much changing.  The thought of getting up and doing the 9-5 work thing forever is pretty depressing to me, regardless of where I am in the world.  Is there another way to live life?  Does it have to be the conventional work thing that we always grow up to see as the end goal?  Can I still have my film Happy Ever After without the mundaness (is that a word?) that working this way has to offer?  

What I do know is that Canada is a fantastic place to figure out the answers to these questions.  In the meantime, I will be making some plans for a few roadtrips.  Do I still want residency? The thought of not living in Canada makes me feel a bit panicky, so yes, that is still the goal. For now though, it is time to refocus on the travel part of this adventure, the serious bits and sensible decision making to make residency easier can come later.

Wanderlust: a strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world.



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